Trust

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

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Trust is something we all consider valuable.  Trust is fundamental in the creation and building of any type of relationship. I found countless quotes about "trust." Some had an author, such as the following:

"Love all, trust a few." 

--- William Shakespeare

 "The best way to find out of you can trust somebody is to trust them."   

---- Ernest Hemingway 

"Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters 

cannot be trusted with important matters." 

--- Albert Einstein

"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."  

--- Stephen King

What is Trust?  

Google gives a very concise and clear definition --

Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Although it sounds simple, it is the most powerful element needed to build and sustain any type of relationship. When I think about my past relationships, both professional and personal, it becomes more evident that without trust, a relationship CANNOT survive.

Trust Issues

A strong friendship and business relationship I have with someone was put to the test recently. After this test, our relationship suffered but eventually survived after we had an honest and open conversation. The main issue in the relationship was "trust."

During this period of time, the lack of effective communication between us created conflict. This friend grew so untrusting to the point that he became paranoid about my intentions. In the past, we had shared with each other some stories about other people whom we had a hard time trusting. I would always tell him to ask questions when in doubt instead of making assumptions and creating stories. I told him that not making assumptions had saved many of my relationships.


We met at a restaurant last week. The first thing he said as he sat down at the table was, "are you recording this conversation?" He made me show my cell phone and then demanded I put it away. I was thinking "wow, he has become really paranoid."

What was shocking is how familiar this situation seemed to me... just as when Victor Alfieri became paranoid and started to create bizarre stories about me and others involved in the production of our film.

So it is not surprising that Victor Alfieri was brought up into our conversation. "I would love to hear his side of the story," he said. I told him to simply visit this blog and read the story if he wished. He responded that he had done so and had googled me. "And it doesn't make you look good," he added. I quickly said "I don't care what your opinion is. I did what felt right for me. I told the TRUTH."

I will not deny I got very upset with that comment. I will also admit that it was not true that I did not care about his opinion. Of course I cared. We all care about what our friends or colleagues think of us. It is based on those opinions that we act upon, that we treat others and that we build solid relationships. What I really meant to say was, "I have no control over your opinion. I did what felt right for me. I told the TRUTH. And it really hurts to hear you have such a low image of me.... and that you do not trust me."

I am aware that his statements and accusations are a reflection of himself and his own fears - and they have NOTHING to do with me.  We can only see the negative traits in others that exist in our own reality - either something we have and want to hide or something we have witnessed or have endured as a "victim." I wonder to what type of betrayal he has been subjected, what experiences have scarred him in such a way that he has a hard time trusting anyone.

Fortunately we were eventually able to work out all the differences and misunderstandings.  He has opted to trust again... And so have I. After this incident our friendship has gotten stronger. We have made the pact to always communicate openly with the each other.

Should We Trust Others?

Yes!!! We should.  Even if they betray us??  Yes! I am not saying that if someone is a compulsive liar and has proven unreliable again and again, we should "trust" them with important and vital decisions we make in life. That is why we have common sense, right? But we can extend our trust to them from one human to another, by encouraging them to believe in themselves - believe that they can do better and can keep their word.  We reflect TRUST on one another.  If we trust, we are more likely to be trusted. If we distrust, we will probably get the same in return.

You may be deceived if you trust too much, 

but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough."

 --- Frank Crane

"Our distrust is very expensive." 

--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust nobody." 

--- English Proverb

"It is impossible to go through life without trust; 

that is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself."  

--- Graham Greene

As Cardinal De Retz states, "a man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else." In other words, it all starts with ourselves. How can I trust anyone else when I cannot trust the person closest to me -- my SELF?

"As soon as you trust yourself, 

you will know how to live." 

---Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Respect cannot survive without trust. Love cannot be expressed in the absence of trust. Trust, as Stephen Covey puts it, "is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle of all relationships," including the relationship we have with ourselves.

Many say that trust is earned just as respect. I disagree. I believe that trust is a choice. It is a choice that starts with self-trust. Let's have trust in ourselves, in our intuition, in knowing that we always have the answer we are seeking and can make the right decisions in life if we listen to our soul. Let's pay it forward and extend this gift of TRUST to everyone around us. Let's create a wave of trust through forgiveness, compassion and kindness towards others.

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.

The Deadly Hairbrush Incident

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

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Yesterday, TMZ broke the news "Bold & Beautiful" Star Victor Alfieri Was Attacked With a Hairbrush!!

The TMZ article reads -

It's pretty ironic ... "Bold and the Beautiful" star Victor Alfieri -- famous for his flowing locks -- claims he was attacked with a hairbrush ... and now he wants protection from the perp.

Alfieri has just got a restraining order against xxx, who lives with Alfieri's neighbor. According to docs, xxx beat him in the face last month with a hairbrush ... and has relentlessly harassed him for more than a year and threatened to put him in the hospital.

According to Alfieri, xxx was arrested for battery but released a day later ... and the harassment never stopped.

Alfieri doesn't explain why there's such animosity, but he does say the right side of his face still hurts like a bitch and his right eye now twitches.

Here's the problem.  The judge granted the restraining order, but can't order xxx to stay far away because he lives in Alfieri's building.  So the order is that xxx must stay 3 YARDS away.

As they say ... every inch counts.

For complete article, click on link TMZ - Alfieri Hairbrush Attack

I honestly was worried when I read this article that I personally sent Victor an email asking him if he was ok. He did not reply to me, of course. 

Some people, TMZ readers, specifically, did not feel much sympathy or compassion and opted to mock him. These are some of the comments -

"Two days before this happened a janitor bumped his foot with the vacuum and his little toe hasn't been the same since. And 3 days before that, a Gnat flew into his mouth sticking to the back of his throat nearly choking him to death. Is it bad luck or is it a conspiracy against him?"

"He's going to have an even harder time finding his testicles, now that he has a twitchy-eye...!!! TESTIFY !!!..."

"Lovers quarrel!"

"S/He's gaaay. That's a point, blank. Period!! #TRUTH!!"

"Well, his hair does look a little messy."

"A man... beat a man with a hairbrush... this is a non-story. Good for a wtf(?) moment, though."

"Ya, I'll bet he lives with the neighbour, NOW. I wouldn't doubt he lived with this dude before the Hairbrush incident. How come no police report was filed?"

"How does a man beat another man with a brush? Why does a man have a brush? Oh my this Ashton Kutcher look a like should quit."

"This is funny he's not listed as in the cast on B&B CBS website. He is easy on the eyes but me thinks his difficult personality makes him an ugly person. JS" 

"Dude, you got jacked with a hairbrush? That's it, your out. You know the rules so, hand it over. Come on, quit stalling, hand over your Bro Card. Now!"

Luckily for Victor, there are still people who will take his side. Let's read this very sweet message from Johnny -

"Poor Victor, he is a terrific actor. What a weird incident. lol. I have heard it, all now. Nothing shocks me anymore. Victor, I will take care of you sweetie. I will give you tlc. lol. HOPE you feel better, Victor."

And let's not forget Dawn. She has written numerous comments defending Alfieri. This time she took the chance to chime in and simply wrote: 

"Nutty neighbors. There's always at least one. Crazy obsessed people don't need an excuse."

Crazy obsessed people? Who said anyone was obsessed here? Dawn, as we know, is an ALIAS or might be Alfieri himself. So, through this comment we learn that the attacker was probably a relentless obsessed fan... Is that possible? Oh well, we have heard that story before.

The article does not specify what type of hairbrush was used in the attack. It could have been a brush such as the one depicted in the picture below.

A gigantic hairbrush could become a deadly weapon

I just wonder.... if Alfieri is such a great boxer and fighter as he claims, why didn't he defend himself????  Whatever the truth is, we all have the right to feel safe in our own homes and neighborhoods. It is good that Alfieri got a restraining order. Let's hope he recovers from these hairbrush injuries. And let's also hope that there are no more crazy obsessed people after him. 

Update - January 22, 2014. TMZ posted an "exclusive" piece following the original article.  

Read post Is Any Publicity GOOD Publicity?

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story

Running Amok

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

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Update as of February 13, 2014- Dr. Manuel Saint Martin comes to Alfieri's rescue once again, now threatening to take me to Arbitration.   Please read - Advocating for Justice.

"From the Malay meaning 'mad with uncontrollable rage'-  is a term that is used for a sudden outburst, usually aggressive or violent, and is preceded by a dissociative episode of brooding over some perceived wrong towards a person or object... 'Running amok' is used to refer to the behavior of someone who, in the grip of strong emotion, obtains a weapon and begins attacking people indiscriminately, often with multiple fatalities."

--- Wikipedia

Definition of "run amok" - go mad, go wild, turn violent, go berserk, lose control, go insane, go into a frenzy... to rush about madly, attacking everybody and everything.  "The prisoner ran amok and killed two prison officers."

--  The Free Dictionary by Farlex

"The perpetrators of 'amok,' it was believed, were as much the victims as those whom they killed or maimed. Having been entered by an evil tiger spirit named “hantu belian,” a host was powerless to resist, and would be mourned in death like any other. No stigma. No disgrace. No opprobrium. Just mourning, and the sincere prayer that it wouldn’t happen again any time soon....There is something in the claim that British civilization helped to prevent mass killings, as the British tendency to put killers on trial may well have dampened enthusiasm for murderous sprees."

-- Running Amok by Charles C. W. Cooke, National Review on Line

"Pow Meng Yap, a psychiatrist for the Hong Kong Government, wrote in 1951 that amok behavior was preceded by a period of brooding, and if the attacker was not killed in the process, it ended when the individual became exhausted and collapsed (and frequently had amnesia for the event)." 

--- Running Amok: A Modern Perspective on a Culture-Bound Syndrome by Manuel L. Saint Martin, The Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry

The Trevino-Alfieri Story is a clear depiction of someone "running amok." In this case, that someone is Victor Alfieri, brooding over some perceived wrongdoing by others - the crew, the cast and, mainly ME.

In the grip of strong emotion, Alfieri obtained a weapon - legal action driven by media manipulation. No wonder I believed Victor had gone insane and out of control. He was simply "running amok."

Manuel Saint Martin, MD, JD
Photo from LinkedIn

His bad case of amnesia is also explained by this condition, as Dr. Saint Martin states in his article, "Running Amok: A Modern Perspective on a Culture-Bound Syndrome." This legal battle got Victor so exhausted.... making him collapse and, in this case, as a result... he suffered from amnesia.  Wow!!! I finally understand.

Manuel Saint Martin, this brilliant psychiatrist, is also an attorney who practices law in California. He is a professional witness in court cases. And now, he has become Victor Alfieri's legal counsel in the pending matter against him and Bondolini Productions.

And now I wonder...

Why did Roger Muse withdraw as Alfieri's attorney from that case???  

Hmm... has Roger read this blog? Does he now know all the facts supported by evidence that contradict Alfieri's outrageous tales?

Is Dr. Saint Martin Alfieri's treating psychiatrist??? Can he act as both his legal and "mental" counsel?  

I don't know. But I am glad Victor is getting help.

Why would Alfieri continue with this legal battle when the plaintiff was willing to dismiss the lawsuit against him and Bondolini Productions without asking for any monetary compensation?  

Ah.... I get it... He is still "running amok" and needs to act out his delusions and perceived wrongdoing by others.

"Today, amok should be viewed as one possible outcome of an individual's undiagnosed and/or untreated psychiatric condition with psychosis or severe personality pathology...To date, there is no medication that has been proven to specifically treat violent behavior, and since violence results from multiple factors, it is unlikely that any such medication will be developed in the near future."

-- Running Amok: A Modern Perspective on a Culture-Bound Syndrome by Manuel L. Saint Martin, The Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry

I hold no resentment against Victor for what he has done to me. I understand what it must be like to feel that there is a continuous battle to fight and win. I sure hope he gets to come to the realization that whatever happened on set, back in 2011, is done. It's in the past... We should all move on.

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.

Premeditation?

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

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Victor's greatest lie is that he did not have an intimate relationship with me. He accused me of sexually harassing him and turning hostile when he rejected me. He also accused me of slandering him by claiming I had a sexual relationship with him and stealing the footage of the movie I financed.

All the above allegations are false. He knew he was lying. But he also knew that a sexual relationship is difficult to prove. He did not expect me to have any "written" proof.

When he saw the facebook chat, he had to think of something fast... A Hacker - the facebook Hacker! And it did not stop there. He added eight impostors or impersonators. I laugh when I watch his deposition and I hear him say, "there were eight people impersonating Victor Alfieri," and that everyone was well aware of that fact.

Ok, let's give him that. Maybe I flirted with the hacker or one of the impersonators... Maybe I talked sexy with one of them... or maybe all of them.  Now, I am laughing again. This scenario is so ridiculous!

After he came up with a creative story about who wrote those flirtatious and sexy messages to me he probably felt safe. He did not know that I had more proof of our intimate relationship. We had written text messages where he admits to having an intimate relationship with me. He even mocks my unconditional love and asks me to give him 100% of the movie and take my name off the project.  Go to "Friends With Benefits" to read the text messages and get more information on this.

When my attorney showed Victor the text messages that are proof of our intimate relationship, he gave the following explanation. Please watch video.

Below there is the COMPLETE transcription of this portion of his deposition. The video has been edited. The transcription includes the testimony as it is being given by Alfieri related to these questions about the text messages and my "alleged" access to his computer and telephone.

Q   This is Exhibit 2. Do you recognize those text messages? 

A    Can I have a minute to read it?  

Q    Of course.

MR. SADEGHI:  Well, first, do you recognize it?  

MR. MUSE: Well, let him -- 

THE WITNESS: I recognize my photo, yes. Like I said -- 

BY MR. SADEGHI: 

Q    I would hope you would recognize your photo.

A    Right. Right. Like I said, anybody can put a photo on a fake profile. 

Q    Sure. 

A    And -- what is this? I don't know.

Q    Well, do you recognize it? 

A    Is that Facebook? I don't know what -- no. I don't recognize it. 

Q    Do you recognize it? 

A    I recognize my photo, but I don't recognize, like, the second page, for example, of this. I don't 

       recognize this (indicating). 

Q    That is a text message. 

A    Okay. 

Q    Do you recognize that being a text message? Does that look like a text message to you? 

A    Yes. 

Q    Can you read the text message for the record.

A    Yes. Sure. Which one?

Q    All three pages. 

A    All three pages. 

Q    Yes.

A    So -- okay. "Victor 8:13 P.M. Good night baby." 

      "Adriana: I will call you tomorrow. Feel better." 

      "Victor: Ok. Kisses. Wear some sexy underwear tomorrow night for me so you will make me feel 

        better."

       And then "I love u as a friend."  

      "Yes. And I took that friendship...with some benefits" (sic). 

       At this point I don't know who's writing what.

Q    Please just continue -- 

A    Okay. 

Q     -- reading for us.

A    Okay. "some benefits." 

       "And I will never hate u. That is why I stopped the benefits..u were going crazier." 

       "I have not stopped crying..." 

        I cannot read any more. This is black. 

       And then June 15, 2011, 8:00 P.M., "You did not stop the benefits...You started them again...   

       Remember? I knew you were not in love with me... You never lied."

       what I did is" -- 
      "it was for both of us in life." 

Q    Do you recall ever texting that to Ms. Trevino? 

A    No, I don't.

Q    Do you recall ever receiving those text messages from Ms. Trevino? 

A    No, I don't.

Q    So if we were to subpoena your phone records, we would not find those text messages. 

A    Maybe you will -- I don't know -- because I don't remember, like, receiving these text messages.

Q    You don't know is different from no; so I'll rephrase --

A    Okay.

Q    -- it one more time.  

       Did you send those text messages to Ms. Trevino? 

A    No. 

Q    Not at all? 

A    No. 

Q    So if I were to get a subpoena of your phone records -- 

A    Uh-huh. 

Q    -- those text messages would not be on those phone records.

A    I don't know. And I can explain why. 

Q    Please explain why. 

A    Ms. Trevino had access to my phone and computer -- and I have witnesses -- from June 2000- -- 

       approximately June 2010 until June -- end of June 2011. Whenever we met in coffee shops -- not 

       at my house -- she had access to it because she was still my personal --

Q    Access to your computer. 

A    And the phone. And I can explain why too.

Q    So please explain how that would relate to the text messages.

A    Okay. So if I leave my phone here and I go take a nap or I go to the bathroom, somebody can send 

       text messages because I have no password and everything. When I discovered certain things -- 

       when I discovered certain things, I took those items away from people around me including 

       Ms. Trevino.

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MR. SADEGHI: Let's enter into -- Exhibit 3. 

(Cross-Complainant's Exhibit 3 

was marked for identification.) 

MR. SADEGHI: I'll hand this to you. Again, I apologize for the copy quality, Roger. 

Q    Take a few moments to look at that. 

A    Okay. Is this me writing to her again?

Q    Well, did -- did you have a chance to digest the information?

A    Well, I read it, like -- 

Q    Do you recognize that? 

A    "Victor Alfieri." I do recognize that. Okay. 

Q    And this is a text message? 

A    If you say so, yes. I -- 

Q    Can you read it into the record for us. 

A    Sure. "And for the record.... Every single friend of mine and family member knew about you and

       how much I loved you and adored you. I did keep it a secret from everybody else in LA (people

       that i knew through you - everybody) Because that is what you wanted...."

      "And put that in the budget...." 

      "So did u sleep with me so u can make a move with no money?" 

       I don't -- 

Q    Do you recognize texting that? 

MR. MUSE: Wait a minute. 

THE WITNESS: I --

MR. MUSE: Objection. Vague. What part of it are you referring to? 

BY MR. SADEGHI: 

Q    Do you recognize that text message?

A    That I wrote?

Q    Do you recognize that text message? 

MR. MUSE: As you sit here today, do you -- have you seen this before? 

THE WITNESS: Probably, yes. I don't remember. 

BY MR. SADEGHI: 

Q    So yes? Probably? Which is it? 

MR. MUSE: Answer whatever you can remember.  

THE WITNESS: Yeah. I don't remember. I don't remember the context of this conversation. 

         I don't really remember it.

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With this new story told by Alfieri, he is basically saying that I "planned" this, that I sent those text messages to myself..... why would I do so? Did I know I would need the messages? If I were making them up, why wouldnt' I write something "juicier" to be later used as evidence of our relationship?

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.

Paranoia and Delusion

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

Paranoia

1. A psychosis characterized by systematized delusions of persecution or grandeur usually without hallucinations.
2. A tendency on the part of an individual or group toward excessive or irrational suspiciousness and distrusfulness of others.

Delusion

1. A persistent false psychotic belief regarding the self or persons or object outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary; also, the abnormal state marked by such beliefs.

Definitions by Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Victor and I continued talking after the break-up. We still had a movie to finish at that time... and, to this day, have not completed post-production yet. Daniela, his mother begged me several times to be patient with Victor and not to "abandon" him. She and I communicated almost every day from the time I left Italy on May 30th until August 3rd, 2011, when Victor withdrew and concealed my money.

Theft

A day before I flew back to Los Angeles, Victor was furious because there was some equipment missing and/or damaged. He told me that he would deal with the insurance company. Later he informed me that the insurance company had not covered anything at all, that he had to pay close to one thousand euros. To this day, he has not shown me proof of that payment or that there was a claim filed with the insurance company.

He blamed the theft on Roberto Moscioni, Max Trevis and his brother (see Victor's emails below).

Betrayal

Upon his return to the US, he turned into a distrustful hostile person. This is the first email I received from him.

Email sent by Victor

Back in April, Victor had problems with Roxane Davis, Clark's manager. I talked to Roxane on the phone. She was actually very friendly and professional. We had worked out all the misunderstandings before Clark left for Italy. I really did not understand why Victor was bringing this up again. Paranoia???

About 15 minutes later I got another email from Victor. In this email he accused me of being too friendly with the actors. On one occasion, Joel Moody rubbed my shoulders because I had a stiff neck. He did it at Daniela's home in front of everybody. After this incident happened, Victor talked with me and told me that allowing that was unprofessional. I believed that Victor was simply jealous.

In the following email, it is my opinion that he exhibits some paranoia - people taking advantage of him, stealing from him, false accusations made by lead actress, people HURTING him.

He especially emphasizes that Joel is not interested in my friendship but my money. Just read the messages below.

He obsessively emailed me and texted me all day on June 15th. We also talked on the phone... then more harassing emails and text messages from him.  I was exhausted.

The following day, he continued sending emails making accusations again.

While he was emailing me non-stop, I realized that he deleted me or unfriended me from facebook.

As to the comment about being "psycho" for naming him my beneficiary... he had no problem with it when I did it back in October 2010. See text message below.

Money

He started asking to amend our contract so he could get compensated an additional 135k for his "hard labor."

He then demanded to be paid for over 30 jobs he claimed he did. Below is the list of the positions he wanted to get paid for.

Joel Moody

Victor claims to be very good friends with Joel. He said so in his deposition on August 16, 2012. The following messages do not reflect what a person would say about a good friend.

More Betrayal

At this point, Victor started suspecting everyone who had been involved in the production.

Disclaimer - The previous emails are pictures of ACTUAL emails sent to me by Victor Alfieri. I only included a few. I received over 50 email messages and countless cell phone text messages from Victor just from June 15th to June 18th, 2011.

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.