Making Peace

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The Trevino vs. Alfieri case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

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This is a continuation of my previous post The Ripple Effect. I dedicate this post to CV -- a kind-hearted man who will no longer have the opportunity to give his side of the story.  My original intention in writing this post was to act as CV's voice and clear his name as this chapter of his life closed. Out of respect to him and his family, I waited enough time to write anything about this and have kept his name and details of the events confidential.

I firmly believe that Alfieri falsely accused CV of physical assault. How do I know the accusation was false? Did I witness this incident? No, I was not there and was not a witness. So how can I claim that Alfieri made a false accusation?

Well, let's not forget that Alfieri shamelessly accused me of theft and slander while he was the one who defrauded and defamed me.  It does not surprise me that he would make stories about others. Just a month or two after he sued me in September 2011, he filed a harassment order against the former co-director/editor of "Looking for Clarissa" claiming she tried to push his Porsche off the road while driving at high speed on Santa Monica Blvd (Century City/Beverly Hills area). First of all, when can anyone drive fast on Santa Monica Blvd in that area of town? Second, he was the one who was driving the Porsche, wasn't he? And the most recent legal claim made by Alfieri that I am aware of was against his own Homeowners Association. I was told that Alfieri lost that lawsuit.

It is clear to me that Alfieri feels that he can use the "law" to try to intimidate or get money from the opposing party.  The problem here is that Alfieri uses outrageous untrue allegations to build "his case." These stories built on ridiculous lies eventually collapse.

It is true that I am still dealing with Alfieri and his unwillingness to take responsibility for what he has done. But my case is only a civil matter. What CV had to face were criminal charges that could have potentially meant time in jail. Although CV was clearly innocent, it is undeniable that he was scared and stressed as he awaited his trial.

I really do not want to get into specifics about what happened between CV and Alfieri. It does not really matter any more.  All I need to say is that CV was not aggressive or confrontational. On the contrary, he would always offer a smile to everyone with whom he interacted. CV was someone who saw the good in people and believed in generosity and forgiveness.  He did not assault Alfieri, nor did he want to continue having any conflict with him.

There was an opportunity to settle the case without going to trial. CV happily accepted the opportunity while Alfieri had the audacity to add even more fabricated lies to his previous version of the facts.

All CV wanted was to make peace, as he said to me, he just wanted to shake Victor's hand, be cordial to each other... and live in harmony.



It is unfortunate that the unfair stress to which he was subjected was what eventually took a toll on his health. He developed an ulcer that led him to the Emergency Room. The next morning, he passed away.

Our words, actions... even our thoughts and intentions touch everyone around us -- EVERYONE --  especially those who are targeted as recipients of such words, actions or thoughts.

Let's live with awareness and treat others with respect, compassion and kindness. We are mirrors of one another. What we give, we receive.  Let's choose peace over war and conflict... And let's first make peace with ourselves so we can extend it to everyone else.

May CV's soul rest in peace. His memory and spirit will remain with us forever.

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues (Trevino vs. Alfieri) have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues (Trevino vs. Alfieri) related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.

The Ripple Effect

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

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Around mid-September 2014, I received a phone call at home. I rarely answer my home phone because most of the calls are from telemarketers. This time I checked the caller id display and realized the call was from a local Los Angeles number. I decided to pick up, "Hello?" "Could I speak with Adriana Trevino?" asked the voice on the other end of the phone. "This is she," I replied. "I read your webpage," he said. "You mean, my blog?" I clarified.

He said he had read some of my posts and felt really bad for what Victor Alfieri had done to me. I told him that I was okay and he should not feel bad for me. He also told me that his attorney had found some of my YouTube videos and my blog on line. Attorney? I asked him if I had mentioned him on any of my posts and offered to remove his name. He then told me that Victor Alfieri had accused him of hitting him with a brush and that there was a trial scheduled.

He told me his name. For now, I will only use his initials, CV. At this point I knew who he was and what he was talking about. In January 2014, TMZ published " 'Bold & Beautiful' Star - I Was Attacked With a Hairbrush," and " Bold & Beautiful Star GETS BRUSH OFF FROM JUDGE." Victor claimed that CV had beat him in the face, had relentlessly harassed him and had threatened to put him in the hospital.  The judge granted Victor a restraining order that would keep CV at least 3 yards away from Victor - not farther, as they lived in the same building.  That is why, just as a way to poke fun at the ridiculous allegations made by Alfieri I served him court papers with a hairbrush so he could "protect" himself from future attacks. Please read The Service to learn how Victor got served and to watch the video "A Brush With the LAW."

CV told me that things did not happen the way Victor had said they did.  I was not surprised when I heard that. I know how Victor can twist the truth and use the court system to his advantage while making sure that his delusional claims get as much publicity as possible. Now that I look at Victor's allegations against CV, it is clear that Victor follows a pattern.

According to Victor Alfieri...

         CV                                                            Me
Attacked him with a brush                     Attacked him with slander
Relentlessly harassed him                      Relentlessly SEXUALLY harassed him
Threatened to put him in hospital          Threatened to call the FBI and put him in jail forever

Then, what did Victor do (or continues to do) against CV and me?

          CV's case                                                 My case
Gave false statements to authorities       Made false allegations in court papers
Got police and courts involved              Got courts and attorneys involved
Leaked the news to the media                Leaked the news to the media
Refuses to tell the truth                          Refuses to tell the truth

It is a fact that Victor Alfieri made up crazy stories about me. His slanderous allegations, which were published all over the internet, damaged my reputation and have cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars in business.  CV asked me if I would be willing to testify in his trial. My testimony would be solely as to Victor Alfieri's character, not to what actually took place during the "alleged" incident. I would simply testify about Victor's manipulative and dishonest behavior. I would testify how Victor has used the justice system and the media to attack me and try to ruin my reputation. He clearly wanted to intimidate me and "persuade" me into walking away from my investment.

So... would I be willing to testify?  Of course I would. I agreed to become a witness even before CV told me his side of the story. I told CV that I knew of another person who would certainly make a great witness. Victor's crazy fabricated stories about this person made it all the way to the court docket as well.  As I stated before, Victor has a pattern -- he claims to be victimized by somebody who has "attacked" or harassed him because that person is probably "obsessed" with him. Then he uses law enforcement and/or court resources to threaten and intimidate this "alleged" attacker, not without getting enough media coverage in the process.

CV and I met in person and talked on the phone several times. As we shared our stories, we could not help but notice so many similarities. He was born and raised in Minnesota. I lived in Minnesota for the last 20 years. We even had friends in common! We developed a friendship quickly.

CV had a scheduled pretrial hearing on Monday March 30th. I told him I would go to court with him. But I did not go to court with CV. Why? Because that hearing did not take place.  It was not because Victor Alfieri decided to tell the truth and get the charges dropped but because CV did not make it to that hearing. He passed away on February 19, 2015. Please read my post Making Peace to learn more about what really happened and how his passing is directly connected to all these events.

Most of us are familiar with the term "Ripple Effect."  Merriam-Webster defines it as a situation in which one event causes a series of other events to happen. And what about "The Butterfly Effect"? -- the scientific theory that one single occurrence, no matter how small, can forever change the course of the universe.

If even the smallest occurrence can have an impact somewhere on the other side of the world, then we can logically conclude that more significant events would for sure change the course of the universe.  What Victor Alfieri has done to me and others is no small thing. His actions have undoubtedly affected our lives -- and the universe, for that matter.

It is possible that Victor finds his creative "tales" very clever and even amusing. However, all actions carry consequences. You cannot go around making false accusations and defaming others and expect no consequences. You will either encounter someone who will fight back or someone who will be unfairly punished. I am fortunately someone who decided not to be a victim. I fought back and continue fighting for justice.  This does not mean that I am in this battle for the simple reason of  fighting. I have always been open to letting this go if Victor were to come clean and tell the truth. It is that simple.

CV, on the other hand, was someone who was unfairly punished and suffered the consequences of Victor's malicious and irresponsible actions.  Please read Making Peace. What is shocking to me is that there are still so many people around Victor that see what he does and opt to say or do nothing about it. It is like watching an injured person lying in the middle of the road while riding in the car with a reckless crazy driver who deliberately speeds up to run this injured person over. It is true you are not the driver. But you are right there. You know this fatality is about to happen and choose to stay quiet and do nothing. Does that make you an accomplice?.... You tell me.

Even the smallest occurrence will create an endless ripple.  Everything we do impacts the whole world. Our actions, thoughts and intentions will touch every single human being on this planet. Before we move forward, let's choose to walk on a path built on honesty and integrity. Before we open our mouth, let's choose our words wisely and compassionately. And let's not forget that everything starts with thoughts, with intention. If what we put out in the universe is generosity, gratitude, kindness and love, then that is the ripple that we are sending out to the rest of the world -- and that is also what will eventually come back to us.

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.

Trust

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

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Trust is something we all consider valuable.  Trust is fundamental in the creation and building of any type of relationship. I found countless quotes about "trust." Some had an author, such as the following:

"Love all, trust a few." 

--- William Shakespeare

 "The best way to find out of you can trust somebody is to trust them."   

---- Ernest Hemingway 

"Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters 

cannot be trusted with important matters." 

--- Albert Einstein

"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."  

--- Stephen King

What is Trust?  

Google gives a very concise and clear definition --

Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Although it sounds simple, it is the most powerful element needed to build and sustain any type of relationship. When I think about my past relationships, both professional and personal, it becomes more evident that without trust, a relationship CANNOT survive.

Trust Issues

A strong friendship and business relationship I have with someone was put to the test recently. After this test, our relationship suffered but eventually survived after we had an honest and open conversation. The main issue in the relationship was "trust."

During this period of time, the lack of effective communication between us created conflict. This friend grew so untrusting to the point that he became paranoid about my intentions. In the past, we had shared with each other some stories about other people whom we had a hard time trusting. I would always tell him to ask questions when in doubt instead of making assumptions and creating stories. I told him that not making assumptions had saved many of my relationships.


We met at a restaurant last week. The first thing he said as he sat down at the table was, "are you recording this conversation?" He made me show my cell phone and then demanded I put it away. I was thinking "wow, he has become really paranoid."

What was shocking is how familiar this situation seemed to me... just as when Victor Alfieri became paranoid and started to create bizarre stories about me and others involved in the production of our film.

So it is not surprising that Victor Alfieri was brought up into our conversation. "I would love to hear his side of the story," he said. I told him to simply visit this blog and read the story if he wished. He responded that he had done so and had googled me. "And it doesn't make you look good," he added. I quickly said "I don't care what your opinion is. I did what felt right for me. I told the TRUTH."

I will not deny I got very upset with that comment. I will also admit that it was not true that I did not care about his opinion. Of course I cared. We all care about what our friends or colleagues think of us. It is based on those opinions that we act upon, that we treat others and that we build solid relationships. What I really meant to say was, "I have no control over your opinion. I did what felt right for me. I told the TRUTH. And it really hurts to hear you have such a low image of me.... and that you do not trust me."

I am aware that his statements and accusations are a reflection of himself and his own fears - and they have NOTHING to do with me.  We can only see the negative traits in others that exist in our own reality - either something we have and want to hide or something we have witnessed or have endured as a "victim." I wonder to what type of betrayal he has been subjected, what experiences have scarred him in such a way that he has a hard time trusting anyone.

Fortunately we were eventually able to work out all the differences and misunderstandings.  He has opted to trust again... And so have I. After this incident our friendship has gotten stronger. We have made the pact to always communicate openly with the each other.

Should We Trust Others?

Yes!!! We should.  Even if they betray us??  Yes! I am not saying that if someone is a compulsive liar and has proven unreliable again and again, we should "trust" them with important and vital decisions we make in life. That is why we have common sense, right? But we can extend our trust to them from one human to another, by encouraging them to believe in themselves - believe that they can do better and can keep their word.  We reflect TRUST on one another.  If we trust, we are more likely to be trusted. If we distrust, we will probably get the same in return.

You may be deceived if you trust too much, 

but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough."

 --- Frank Crane

"Our distrust is very expensive." 

--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust nobody." 

--- English Proverb

"It is impossible to go through life without trust; 

that is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself."  

--- Graham Greene

As Cardinal De Retz states, "a man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else." In other words, it all starts with ourselves. How can I trust anyone else when I cannot trust the person closest to me -- my SELF?

"As soon as you trust yourself, 

you will know how to live." 

---Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Respect cannot survive without trust. Love cannot be expressed in the absence of trust. Trust, as Stephen Covey puts it, "is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle of all relationships," including the relationship we have with ourselves.

Many say that trust is earned just as respect. I disagree. I believe that trust is a choice. It is a choice that starts with self-trust. Let's have trust in ourselves, in our intuition, in knowing that we always have the answer we are seeking and can make the right decisions in life if we listen to our soul. Let's pay it forward and extend this gift of TRUST to everyone around us. Let's create a wave of trust through forgiveness, compassion and kindness towards others.

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.

Secrets - Untold Truths

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The Trevino vs. Alfieri case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

Secret

noun /'si•krit/

A piece of information that is not generally known or is not known by someone else and should not be told to others.

 ----- Cambridge Dictionaries Online

How many of us have secrets? I would believe that everyone has at least one secret -- a secret that has either only been told to one other person or a secret that has never been shared at all.

Why do we keep secrets "secret"?

1. It is someone else's secret.  Someone has confided in us and has asked us not to divulge the "private" and secretive information.  We are all familiar with the phrase, "let's keep this between us," or "promise not to tell a soul."
2. What we keep secret is shameful. Secrets become secrets when we opt not to share them publicly. If we perceive something we have done as unacceptable and shameful, we will hide it and even deny it ever happened.
3. We are afraid to tell. We see this type of "secrets" in abusive relationships.  

Now, let's talk about Bill Cosby and his over two dozen alleged victims who have come forward with claims of sexual assault.  Do I believe he did what the victims claim he did? I personally do. I say this not because I dislike Bill Cosby. In fact, I always liked him. But it is impossible to ignore 25 women telling a similar story describing how they were drugged and raped by him.

Some skeptics might ask why these victims waited over 40 years to speak up. My answer to them would be - Because they needed someone to be the first person, brave enough to tell the truth. When the first victim spoke, then another one followed, it was just a matter of time for the truth to be uncovered.

Some people have commented on some of the recent articles about Bill Cosby that they consider Bill Cosby INNOCENT until proven guilty. After all, that is a basic constitutional right in the United States, isn't it?  I cannot say I disagree with that statement. However, there are truths that do not need to be proven in a courtroom. And there are also those truths that cannot necessarily be proven with clear and convincing evidence. We know that justice does not always prevail when it comes from a verdict in a criminal case. Let's not forget the O.J. Simpson trial.

Below you can click on the video where Bill Cosby is interviewed. He refuses to talk about the rape allegations. Why would he anyway? Whatever he could say about it would be incriminating. Is he going to deny 100% of what has been said by the two dozen victims? Is he going to partially admit some of the allegations?

It must be really hard for Bill Cosby to come to terms with what he has done to so many women. He probably thought that because it has been such a long time, he could put those experiences behind him. But that does not seem to be the case. In fact, VIBE wrote an article yesterday -- "More than two-dozen women have come forward in the media and accused comedian Bill Cosby of raping them, but only one has the statute of limitations on her side.  Chloe Goins says in 2008, Cosby drugged and raped her at a party at the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles." For full article  Bill Cosby May Actually Be Prosecuted for Rape Accusations

Now Cosby's attorney is telling the media that Bill Cosby was not even in Los Angeles at the time of the alleged assault at the Playboy Mansion in 2008. Whatever the truth is about that specific incident with Ms. Goins, there are too many other allegations that cannot be ignored.

NBC was developing a new sitcom featuring Cosby. NBC executive Robert Greenblatt who had supported the network's decision to wait before cutting ties with Bill Cosby explains why they eventually dropped this new project. 

“Fifteen women came out and accused him of what they accused him of. While over the years we heard [about some of the rape allegations] and knew there were a couple settlements and what not, it didn’t seem to be the thing that was critical mass. When we realized there seemed to be so much more of it, it wasn’t the something where we could go ‘Oh, we’re not sure.’”

“He hasn’t been proven guilty of anything,” continued Greenblatt. “I don’t want to be the one who says ‘guilty until proven innocent.’ But when that many people come out and have similar complaints it causes such a tainted situation there was no way we could move forward with it. The good news is, unlike Netflix [which had a completed, already filmed stand-up special with Cosby before everything blew up], we’re developing a script. We didn’t even have a first draft… I’m glad we’re out from under that.”

Asked by a reporter to say what changed, Greenblatt said the “critical mass” of allegations against Cosby is “what just happened two months ago.” When the reporter asked, “So 15 [women making accusations] ‘yes,’ [but] two or three ‘no’?” “Yeah, you want me to put a number on it?” Greenblatt replied. “Fifteen ‘yes,’ two ‘no.’ Yeah, you want me to answer that question? All I can tell you is there’s a lot of people who have been in business with Cosby for 25 years and go ask them the same question. I just answered what I could answer. I didn’t think it was a problem until it became critical.”

For most of the victims, because it has been such a long time, there is nothing than can be done about it in a court of law. If it is too late to prosecute such behavior, then WHY report it now?

I personally believe that burying such a dark secret takes a toll on our livelihood.  If we deny such a traumatic event happened and hide it in a dark corner, we will never have a chance to get over it and heal. We would start doubting ourselves. We could even start to doubt it ever happened.

It is clear that these victims were afraid to speak up. They probably started to doubt anything really happened to them. After all, most of them had been drugged and had no clear recollection of how things unfolded. And who would have believed them back then? It would have been their word against Bill Cosby's word. In addition, these women had no idea they were not the only victims. 

I can only imagine how each of them gathered the courage to talk after hearing similar stories from others. I applaud all those women for speaking their truth and for honoring themselves.  I am sure this has been very healing for them. 

I also believe that there must still be many out there that have opted to remain silent at the moment. They might share their story one day, or they might keep that secret buried.  It is their individual journey and they choose their own path. 

My Case and Why I Decided to Speak Up

I have chosen to speak up and tell the truth about what happened with Victor Alfieri. I believe that what he did to me is horrendous and certainly illegal.  Not only did he defraud me into investing in a production company he never intended to build, but he slandered me, took my money and used it to sue me.  Now I am trying to have the courts consider my case and make him face the consequences of his actions.

I am not the only person who has been victimized by Aflieri. I know about at least three other people who have similar stories as to Alfieri's crazy and delusional allegations against them. I have promised to keep their names confidential. So I will not be mentioning any details until the time is right and I get approval from the parties involved.  All I can say is that this blog has been instrumental in disclosing facts that have helped others in their dealings with Alfieri. 

If you are reading this post and would like to share any information or concerns with me, please feel free to contact me by sending me a private email. 

Sometimes we might feel that nobody understands or cares about us. But that is not true. We are not on our own in the world. We are meant to share our life while fulfilling a purpose. That purpose although individual for each of us can only be attained if we reach out to others. We cannot expect others to read our mind. So let's speak our truth and ask for support if needed. Let's offer a compassionate helping hand to those who don't know how to ask. And let's remember that we are not alone on this journey.

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues (Trevino vs. Alfieri) have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues (Trevino vs. Alfieri) related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.