Facing Adversity with a Smile

This post is dedicated to my sweet friend Angelina*.  

Two weeks ago, I got together with a group of friends. We were celebrating the birthday of two of them.... like if we really needed an excuse to meet for Happy Hour.  This group is very dear to me because they are not only very close friends but also happen to be my colleagues (fellow court interpreters). 

We were all sharing stories and updates on our personal lives when Angelina made an announcement. "After six 'chemo's, 25 radiation sessions, a double mastectomy, I want to announce that on the 19th of February, I underwent my last radiation," she cheerfully stated.

All eyes were focused on Angelina at this point. "What???" we were all thinking, "... and she hid this secret for how long?" She kept this private for about a year. Only her immediate family, close relatives and health professionals involved in her treatment knew about it. She told us that she did not want people to look at her differently. She didn't want anyone to worry about her.

Her story is quite unique. She knew something was not right when she discovered a tiny bump on her breast. Mammograms and several other tests showed nothing abnormal. Doctors told her not to worry about it, to go home and to come back in 3 months or earlier if she noticed any changes. In less than a month, she was back at the doctor's office demanding more tests to be run -- she felt there was something wrong. At this point, the test results were positive for cancer.

Anyone who personally knows Angelina would agree with me. She always has a positive attitude, has a great sense of humor and a permanent smile painted on her beautiful face. It is not surprising that her bright joy could not be clouded by this disease. She opted to keep herself active and useful. She continued going to the gym and taking her regular load of work, for the most part.

As I was listening to the details of the long treatment and what she had gone through, my eyes teared up. I then asked her, "when did you have your surgery? I remember I gave you so many assignments through my agency. You were always happy to take long hours of work!!" She told me that her surgery had been on Black Friday. "Right before Thanksgiving???" I said, "you were working on Wednesday!!"

She laughed while sharing an anecdote with us about an assignment she had with a colleague in Wisconsin. This colleague said to Angelina, "I am tired and don't feel like driving. You drive." Angelina thought, "I just had my chemo a few days ago... but what the heck, I will drive." And she took over the steering wheel with the biggest smile on her face.

She then showed me her appointment book. She had marked her chemo sessions as "cocktail" and radiation as "tanning," her double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery, labeled as "new look." She laughed as she was sharing this with me, amused at her own creativity. "Cocktails, tanning... Anyone who reads my appointment book would think I'm living THE LIFE."   She certainly is.

There are two great lessons to be learned from Angelina's experience.

Listen 

Listen to your body. Listen to your inner voice. All answers are within you. What would have happened if Angelina had listened to what the doctors originally recommended instead of listening to her own body? She would have gone home, forgotten about it and would have come back when it could have been too late to combat this illness.

Smile

Having a positive and optimistic attitude will take you far... beyond unimaginable limits.  An actual physical smile on your face changes the tone of your voice, your attitude, your mood... and it certainly affects the interaction you have with others.

*I am keeping my friend's real name confidential and using Angelina --- 

Honoring Angelina Jolie and her decision to undergo a double mastectomy.

Coming to this world is the most precious gift we all get at birth. Our parents, siblings, children are beautiful gifts as well. And we also have an invaluable gift that we sometimes forget we possess -- the gift of CHOICE.   We get to choose our friends, our careers, activities we enjoy, food, music, art we love. We also get to choose what we do... and what we don't do. Let's choose to see the positive in other people and in every situation. Let's choose to see the best in ourselves and in our lives. Let's choose to walk in life with a smile on our face.

I found this video on line. It made me smile.

The Road Ahead

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The Trevino vs. Alfieri case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

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It has been several months since I wrote my last post. It has also been a while since I last worked on my book. I have noticed that my blog-writing is directly connected to my book-writing. Because I do want to finish my book, I have made the decision to write at least one post a week.

So here's my first post for 2016 -- How do I like to start the New Year? Walking the road ahead without losing sight of the goals I want to reach.  Before I get into what these goals are, I would like to reflect back on the previous year and acknowledge milestones and accomplishments.

2015

Saying Good-Bye to Unhealthy Relationships

Last year I said good-bye to someone I considered a very close friend. We met during the production of "Looking for Clarissa." Soon after the Trevino-Alfieri saga started, she and I became roommates and best friends.  Many times I believed that she was the only person who could understand what I was going through.

Unfortunately, she was not the supportive caring friend I believed she was. I remember her saying to me one time, "you should not share what Victor did to you."  When I asked her why, she responded, "Because it gives people ideas... Ideas on how to take advantage of you." I should have listened to her words. She certainly tried to take advantage of my kindness and generosity. She would not pay the rent all the time and would expect me to cover her share. Things got bad between us... so bad, they became toxic.  In May 2015, this toxicity killed this friendship.

Now that this friendship is over, I have to admit I could not be happier. I finally get to enjoy my apartment.  Now my place is clean and organized. It is so interesting how our physical reality is directly linked to our mental and spiritual reality. When our physical environment is "cluttered," "messy" or "unclean," it is then reflected in other areas of our life. Now that she is gone, I feel I have more physical, mental and spiritual room to expand and grow.

Expressing my Truth

One of my greatest accomplishments has been expressing my truth. I am not claiming that I have reached a point where there is no room for improvement -- not at all!  Having integrity and acting in a way consistent to what is true to me is a learning process. It is like working out -- physical exercise builds muscle and endurance. Having integrity or "Being Impeccable with Your Word," (Miguel Ruiz's First Agreement) is a daily practice that strengthens our spirit.

2016

These are some of my goals for this year:

1. Complete the arbitration process for my case against Alfieri and Bondolini Productions.
2. Close this "legal battle" chapter for once and for all.
3. Finish my book.

And of course, I am planning on reaching these goals while living with INTEGRITY.  I will continue speaking my truth while respecting others' journey.

It is true that we are responsible for our journey in this life. We are the only ones who can make decisions such as -- how fast we want to go, how long we need to rest after taking a big fall and which way to turn when approaching crossroads.  Although each of us have our own individual road to travel, our paths will inevitably converge. We can become obstacles or inspiration to others. Let's not block anyone's path to their dreams.  Instead, let's offer a helping hand and inspire others to go beyond what they believe possible.

Disclaimer – (Trevino vs. Alfieri case) As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.