Facing Adversity with a Smile

This post is dedicated to my sweet friend Angelina*.  

Two weeks ago, I got together with a group of friends. We were celebrating the birthday of two of them.... like if we really needed an excuse to meet for Happy Hour.  This group is very dear to me because they are not only very close friends but also happen to be my colleagues (fellow court interpreters). 

We were all sharing stories and updates on our personal lives when Angelina made an announcement. "After six 'chemo's, 25 radiation sessions, a double mastectomy, I want to announce that on the 19th of February, I underwent my last radiation," she cheerfully stated.

All eyes were focused on Angelina at this point. "What???" we were all thinking, "... and she hid this secret for how long?" She kept this private for about a year. Only her immediate family, close relatives and health professionals involved in her treatment knew about it. She told us that she did not want people to look at her differently. She didn't want anyone to worry about her.

Her story is quite unique. She knew something was not right when she discovered a tiny bump on her breast. Mammograms and several other tests showed nothing abnormal. Doctors told her not to worry about it, to go home and to come back in 3 months or earlier if she noticed any changes. In less than a month, she was back at the doctor's office demanding more tests to be run -- she felt there was something wrong. At this point, the test results were positive for cancer.

Anyone who personally knows Angelina would agree with me. She always has a positive attitude, has a great sense of humor and a permanent smile painted on her beautiful face. It is not surprising that her bright joy could not be clouded by this disease. She opted to keep herself active and useful. She continued going to the gym and taking her regular load of work, for the most part.

As I was listening to the details of the long treatment and what she had gone through, my eyes teared up. I then asked her, "when did you have your surgery? I remember I gave you so many assignments through my agency. You were always happy to take long hours of work!!" She told me that her surgery had been on Black Friday. "Right before Thanksgiving???" I said, "you were working on Wednesday!!"

She laughed while sharing an anecdote with us about an assignment she had with a colleague in Wisconsin. This colleague said to Angelina, "I am tired and don't feel like driving. You drive." Angelina thought, "I just had my chemo a few days ago... but what the heck, I will drive." And she took over the steering wheel with the biggest smile on her face.

She then showed me her appointment book. She had marked her chemo sessions as "cocktail" and radiation as "tanning," her double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery, labeled as "new look." She laughed as she was sharing this with me, amused at her own creativity. "Cocktails, tanning... Anyone who reads my appointment book would think I'm living THE LIFE."   She certainly is.

There are two great lessons to be learned from Angelina's experience.

Listen 

Listen to your body. Listen to your inner voice. All answers are within you. What would have happened if Angelina had listened to what the doctors originally recommended instead of listening to her own body? She would have gone home, forgotten about it and would have come back when it could have been too late to combat this illness.

Smile

Having a positive and optimistic attitude will take you far... beyond unimaginable limits.  An actual physical smile on your face changes the tone of your voice, your attitude, your mood... and it certainly affects the interaction you have with others.

*I am keeping my friend's real name confidential and using Angelina --- 

Honoring Angelina Jolie and her decision to undergo a double mastectomy.

Coming to this world is the most precious gift we all get at birth. Our parents, siblings, children are beautiful gifts as well. And we also have an invaluable gift that we sometimes forget we possess -- the gift of CHOICE.   We get to choose our friends, our careers, activities we enjoy, food, music, art we love. We also get to choose what we do... and what we don't do. Let's choose to see the positive in other people and in every situation. Let's choose to see the best in ourselves and in our lives. Let's choose to walk in life with a smile on our face.

I found this video on line. It made me smile.

Split Second

This post is dedicated to Rae and Carolyn, two angels God put in my path.

What is a SPLIT SECOND?

It is defined as an infinitesimal amount of time, an instant, a fraction of a second. It is so short and so fast -- faster than a blink or a breath, that it could go unperceived.

Although a split second is an extremely small period of time, it is long enough for a life-changing event to occur during its brief span.

Last Friday I was driving a rental car in downtown St. Paul, Minnesota. I was on 4th street and made a left onto Minnesota Street. I had the green light as I passed the intersection of Minnesota Street and 5th Street. As I was about to go through the next green light on 6th street, I happened to look to my right and saw a van approaching that intersection traveling at high speed. It was clear that the driver of the van was not going to stop. I was only a few feet from the intersection. I had to act fast. I looked in my rear view mirror to make sure nobody would rear-end me before I hit the breaks. I stopped the car but not fast enough to avoid being hit by the approaching vehicle.

The van hit the front of my car. The noise caused by the collision was deafening. The van was going so fast that it literally shaved off the front of my car without losing much speed. I saw as the hood of my car was bending towards me.  I did not know if I would end up trapped and crushed inside the car.

Many people quickly came to my rescue and asked me if I was okay. I cannot say I was scared. It was somewhat surreal.  I felt more like a witness than a participant in the accident. I got out of my car and yelled to witnesses and bystanders to please not let that driver run away. I took a picture of the license plates of the van that hit me.  The police, firefighters and paramedics came to the scene.

Because my rental car was totaled and towed to the city impound lot, I was carless and stranded downtown St. Paul. I called many friends to come get me. Some would not pick up my call and the few that did pick up, failed to understand the gravity of the situation. Most of them did not offer to come get me but would end the call with, "let me know if you need anything, ok?"  I would say to myself, "isn't that what I'm doing now?" My body was starting to feel the effects of the car accident and my emotional state was only adding to that pain. I felt helpless and alone. I started to cry.

Rae, a witness to the crash had offered to stay with me until I found a friend to come get me. When it was evident that nobody would come get me, she and Carolyn offered their company... and their home.  As I was riding in their car, I decided to post something on Facebook. That would for sure get someone's attention. Just a minute after I posted on Facebook, I received a call from my friend Marjorie, who eventually picked me up and later took me to an urgent care clinic.

It has been three days since the accident. It is surprising how much more my body hurts now compared to the day of the accident. I am not worried about my recovery. I know I can only get better. What I cannot seem to stop thinking about is how lucky I was to have that SPLIT SECOND to turn to the right, see that approaching vehicle and hit the breaks.  I know that if I had not stopped, I would have been t-boned by that van. I would have been crushed inside my car.... and probably killed.

I am profoundly humbled by this whole experience. I feel fortunate and grateful for this second chance in life, for being able to tell this story.

This message from Rae reflects this sentiment --

"Adriana, there were angels with you last night, but it wasn't me and Carolyn. The fact that you were able to see this car out of the corner of your eye, and with quick reflexes try to take evasive action saved you from a much more serious accident. Your rental car was completely totaled but you were able to walk away from this accident. I am sure that you are in a lot of pain today, but you are truly a very lucky woman..."

Because life is short, time is our most valuable asset. As my good friend Sebastian once told me, "time is the greatest gift a person can give somebody else" --  a gift  that we should treasure and enjoy. Although life seems to move extremely fast, let's not forget that every split second is an opportunity - an opportunity to go farther than we can imagine. So let's reach out for our dreams and make a difference in the world.