Facing Adversity with a Smile

This post is dedicated to my sweet friend Angelina*.  

Two weeks ago, I got together with a group of friends. We were celebrating the birthday of two of them.... like if we really needed an excuse to meet for Happy Hour.  This group is very dear to me because they are not only very close friends but also happen to be my colleagues (fellow court interpreters). 

We were all sharing stories and updates on our personal lives when Angelina made an announcement. "After six 'chemo's, 25 radiation sessions, a double mastectomy, I want to announce that on the 19th of February, I underwent my last radiation," she cheerfully stated.

All eyes were focused on Angelina at this point. "What???" we were all thinking, "... and she hid this secret for how long?" She kept this private for about a year. Only her immediate family, close relatives and health professionals involved in her treatment knew about it. She told us that she did not want people to look at her differently. She didn't want anyone to worry about her.

Her story is quite unique. She knew something was not right when she discovered a tiny bump on her breast. Mammograms and several other tests showed nothing abnormal. Doctors told her not to worry about it, to go home and to come back in 3 months or earlier if she noticed any changes. In less than a month, she was back at the doctor's office demanding more tests to be run -- she felt there was something wrong. At this point, the test results were positive for cancer.

Anyone who personally knows Angelina would agree with me. She always has a positive attitude, has a great sense of humor and a permanent smile painted on her beautiful face. It is not surprising that her bright joy could not be clouded by this disease. She opted to keep herself active and useful. She continued going to the gym and taking her regular load of work, for the most part.

As I was listening to the details of the long treatment and what she had gone through, my eyes teared up. I then asked her, "when did you have your surgery? I remember I gave you so many assignments through my agency. You were always happy to take long hours of work!!" She told me that her surgery had been on Black Friday. "Right before Thanksgiving???" I said, "you were working on Wednesday!!"

She laughed while sharing an anecdote with us about an assignment she had with a colleague in Wisconsin. This colleague said to Angelina, "I am tired and don't feel like driving. You drive." Angelina thought, "I just had my chemo a few days ago... but what the heck, I will drive." And she took over the steering wheel with the biggest smile on her face.

She then showed me her appointment book. She had marked her chemo sessions as "cocktail" and radiation as "tanning," her double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery, labeled as "new look." She laughed as she was sharing this with me, amused at her own creativity. "Cocktails, tanning... Anyone who reads my appointment book would think I'm living THE LIFE."   She certainly is.

There are two great lessons to be learned from Angelina's experience.

Listen 

Listen to your body. Listen to your inner voice. All answers are within you. What would have happened if Angelina had listened to what the doctors originally recommended instead of listening to her own body? She would have gone home, forgotten about it and would have come back when it could have been too late to combat this illness.

Smile

Having a positive and optimistic attitude will take you far... beyond unimaginable limits.  An actual physical smile on your face changes the tone of your voice, your attitude, your mood... and it certainly affects the interaction you have with others.

*I am keeping my friend's real name confidential and using Angelina --- 

Honoring Angelina Jolie and her decision to undergo a double mastectomy.

Coming to this world is the most precious gift we all get at birth. Our parents, siblings, children are beautiful gifts as well. And we also have an invaluable gift that we sometimes forget we possess -- the gift of CHOICE.   We get to choose our friends, our careers, activities we enjoy, food, music, art we love. We also get to choose what we do... and what we don't do. Let's choose to see the positive in other people and in every situation. Let's choose to see the best in ourselves and in our lives. Let's choose to walk in life with a smile on our face.

I found this video on line. It made me smile.

Letter to Victor Alfieri's Mother

Daniela and I with Tarzan and Jane (dogs)

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

--------
Victor claimed that I had sent his mother to the hospital. Watch video Why Did Victor Alfieri Sue Me? He, himself admits that he had disconnected his phone and Daniela, his mother, could not get ahold of him. Why would I be responsible for his mother not being able to reach him on his phone?

Victor Alfieri also claims that in my letter to his mother, I threatened to call the FBI and put him in jail forever. That is not what really happened.

First of all, Daniela was rushed to the hospital when I sent her the short email begging her to please ask Victor to return the money. She tried to talk to him. He had already disconnected his phone. She could not reach him and panicked.

The letter Victor talks about was not sent but a month after her hospitalization.  And here is the "threatening" letter.

Dear Daniela,

I am writing to you to explain to you what happened. I know you will always be on Victor’s side - as you should, you are his mother.  But I am just asking you to take the time to read this.

First of all, I am so sorry if you felt offended and hurt when I told you that Victor had stolen money from me. Victor said that I am responsible for making you cry and for your going to the hospital. It was never my intention to cause you any grief.

The truth is that he withdrew $17,500 from the Business Bank Account without my consent. He immediately disconnected his telephone.  All that money belongs to me, as I am the only investor in this movie.  So by taking and concealing the money and then disconnecting his phone, the only thing I could think was that he had stolen it.  And that is when I wrote that email to you. I did not know what to do.

Just a day or so before he took the money, I found out what he had been saying about me to a lot of people in the crew and cast.  He was saying that he did not want me to come to Italy, that I was obsessed with him, that I was crazy and that he could not stand being close to me. He was saying this in front of the crew and actors.  But the worst part is that he has been saying those things about me since at least January this year.

I started an intimate relationship with him in June 2010. This relationship continued until just right before Victor left for Rome. He kept it a secret. I respected his decision to not make it public. I just never imagined what he was saying about me. Now that I look back and think about my relationship with Victor, I sadly see that the only thing he was interested in was my money.

I was shocked and deeply hurt when I heard this. I know it is true because that is the way he was treating me when he flew back to California. During those two months you and I were communicating on skype, he was treating me cruelly and rudely. I did not tell you because I did not want you to feel bad or worry. 

I tried to save the friendship and the professional relationship I had with him. Sometimes he would be a little nicer to me, but most of the times he would be verbally abusive and rude.  Having contact with you gave me hope that someday I could still get along with Victor.

I am sure he is telling you the same story he is telling others – that he never slept with me, that I am obsessed with him and that I am doing this now because he does not want me. Daniela, I am telling you the truth. In fact, it is ok if you want to show him this letter. 

I know that you are his mom and will want to believe what he says. It is your choice. I just wanted to tell you the truth. I think you deserve to know it. 

Help him take an honest look at himself and stop playing victim. Look at what happened in Calcata and Rome. He had arguments with every single person – except for Andrea, Mauro and Luisa. He claims that everybody betrayed him and stole money or equipment from him.  What I can tell you is that he betrayed my friendship and trust. 

I know I will probably never communicate with you again. Please remember that you are not responsible for Victor’s actions. You are a wonderful woman. You are kind and generous. I truly care about you and will always remember you with a smile on my face. 

It has been an honor to know you and to having spent time with you in Italy. 

Kisses

Adriana

 

Click (Read More) below to read the Italian translation.