Being Brave

Update as of 10-15-2018 -- The case has been dismissed by both parties.  As we have agreed to move forward, the dismissed case will remain confidential.

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Last night a male friend of mine said to me that having all these details of my relationship with Victor over the internet was a big "turn off." His advice to me was not to talk about it. "And these lawsuits..." he started saying, "I did not start any of this" I interrupted. And not to talk about it??? It was not a choice for me anymore. My reputation and business were greatly damaged because of this. I had to clear my name somehow.

This friend then said, "you must have done something to make him do what he did to you." I don't believe I am responsible for Victor's actions. However, I would have to agree with my friend to some degree. This "Trevino-Alfieri Story" would have not happened if I had not stayed in a relationship with Victor - a relationship as a lover, friend or business partner. I chose to stay. I chose to trust him. I chose to invest in his film. I chose not to speak up when I disagreed. I always had a choice... And I certainly made a choice every time.

I finally feel that I am starting to recover from this whole experience. I believe I have come a long way. But, why am I so hurt by my friend's words?... So what am I supposed to do now? Should I take down this blog? Should I stop writing my book? Should I go curl up in a corner and swallow my truth? Should I shove this whole experience (the good and the bad) into a dark closet where "shameful" stories are to be hidden?

No! I have chosen to be brave and speak up. As to being courageous and honest, my friend Jane told me of a very popular song that addresses these two qualities. The song is "Brave" by Sara Bareilles. "Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do when they settle beneath your skin, kept on the inside and no sunlight. Sometimes the shadow wins. But I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say and let the words fall out. Honestly, I wanna see you be brave."

The lyrics to this great song speak to me loudly, just as I imagine they do to many other people. "Don't run, stop holding your tongue. Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live. Maybe one of these days you can let the light in. Show me how big your brave is."

And the song goes on to say, "And since your history of silence won't do you any good. Did you think it would? Let your words be anything but empty. Why don't you tell them the truth?"

So I told my truth!!! And I continue sharing it with anyone who cares to read my words. Some will understand me a little better and will feel empathy. Some will be critical and will judge me. Others will get triggered or annoyed with my story and its details. Some might even take it personally... And maybe some will feel deeply touched and inspired to stop hiding and speak up their own truth.

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Thank you, Sara Bareilles for your wonderful uplifting and inspiring song.

I will keep it as part of my blog to remind us that we can all be brave and live in our truth!!!

"BRAVE"

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do

When they settle 'neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes the shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I wanna see you be brave

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I wanna see you be brave

Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down

By the enemy

Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing

Bow down to the mighty

Don't run, stop holding your tongue

Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence

Won't do you any good

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don't you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I want to see you be brave

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I want to see you be brave

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I want see you be brave

I just want to see you

I just want to see you

I just want to see you.

Songwriters

BAREILLES, SARA / ANTONOFF, JACK

Published by

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

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There are two songs that remind me how important it is to speak up and tell my truth. "Brave," by Sara Bareilles is one, the other is Katy Perry's "Roar."  I found this interesting video on YouTube. 

I did have this very choice to make when I wrote this post - ""Roar" Vs. "Brave."

I chose "Brave." 

Disclaimer – As of October 15, 2018, all legal issues have been resolved. This resolution was reached during arbitration. There are no pending issues related to fraud or theft. The resolution was mutually agreeable. There will be no more posts written about this story.